Desperately Devastated (Addicted To You, Book Nine) Read online

  “Who’s ‘they’?” Justin demanded.

  “Who’s who?”

  “Who are you going with?”

  “Oh. Um, Dr. Klaxton. And Carter.”

  “Carter? The guy who caught you when you almost passed out? Oh, hell no.

  You’re not going, Lindsay.”

  “I have to!”

  “No.” His voice was firm and commanding. “You’re not going anywhere with that douchebag. You’re mine. And you’re not going anywhere with some other guy.”

  “He’s not some other guy,” I said. “He’s my boss.”

  Justin scoffed. “He’s not your boss, Lindsay. And you’re not going to New York with him.”

  “I have to,” I said. “I need to prove myself.”

  “To Carter?”

  “No, not to Carter.” I spotted a black dress way in the back of Rachel’s closet, and I yanked at the hanger. I held it up in front of me. It was a faux wrap dress, with a cinched waist and a slightly flared skirt. It was stylish and chic, without looking old ladyish. It could definitely work. I let out a sigh of relief.

  “Then to who?” Justin asked.

  “Who what?”

  “Who do you have to prove yourself to?”

  “Dr. Klaxton.”

  “Another guy,” Justin grumbled.

  “Justin – “

  “I’m going with you.”

  “What?”

  “I’m going with you. To New York.”

  “That’s crazy.”

  “I’m not leaving you with some guy who wants to get in your pants. I’m going with you, or you’re not going.” He sounded like he meant it.

  “You can’t,” I said. “We’re leaving tonight.”

  “So I’ll leave tonight,” he said. “What’s your flight number? I’ll book the ticket right now.”

  I couldn’t lie – I loved that he was being so protective of me, that he didn’t want me going to New York alone with Carter. And the thought of Justin being with me, looking out for me, gave me a flush of pleasure. I wanted to finish what we’d started in my bed yesterday. I wanted him close to me. I always wanted him close to me. But could he really come with me? It didn’t make any sense.

  And then I thought of what Carter would say when he found out, after everything that had happened with Adam’s flowers, that now I was bringing a guy with me on a business trip.

  “You can’t come with me,” I said. “It would be really unprofessional. What would I tell them?”

  “You’d tell them that you belong to me, and that I have a temper and I don’t give a shit about anything, and I’m coming to make sure nobody tries to fuck with you.”

  “Oh, yeah.” I rolled my eyes even though he couldn’t see me. “That would go over well.”

  “Look, I’ll stay under the radar. No one will even know I’m there.”

  I hesitated. “Of course they’ll know.”

  “I won’t sit near you on the plane. I’ll meet you at the hotel later, when nobody else is around. I promise to stay completely out of your way—Carter and Dr. Flatface won’t even know I’m there.”

  “It’s Dr. Klaxton.”

  “Whatever. Just say yes.”

  I hesitated, and his voice slipped into that flirtatious tone he used when he wanted to get his way. “Come on,” he said. “You know I can’t fall asleep without you. Are you really going to deny a guy his sleep?”

  “I wouldn’t want to,” I said, smiling.

  “Not that we’re going to be sleeping anyway,” he said huskily.

  Heat pulsed through my body, all the way from my toes to my fingers. “Okay,” I said finally, knowing that this was a really, really bad idea. “As long as you promise you won’t make a scene or anything.”

  “Never.”

  “Fine,” I sighed, wondering how badly I was going to regret the decision. “You can come.”

  JUSTIN

  I stood in the supermarket parking lot and looked down at the bags of groceries in my hands. Four plastic bags bursting with all the things that I’d thought I’d need to cook Lindsay a dinner that would knock her socks off.

  Now, they were just bags of junk. Trash, as far as I was concerned.

  A voice in my head told me I was being silly.

  It’s still good food. You can eat some tonight, save some for leftovers. Maybe Wyatt will eat some of it. Or Gil might come over—he would love a home cooked meal.

  But none of that meant much to me. My stomach was curdled, my appetite gone, and I was annoyed. I’d thought that tonight could have been a really nice night, a chance to show Lindsay a different side of myself. Now that chance was gone.

  Instead, I had to get home and make arrangements to fly to New York to be with her.

  Why are you putting yourself through this? Why are you putting her through this?

  I didn’t want to answer that question. I thought of Lindsay’s face, especially her smile, and those eyes…there were more than enough reasons to go to New York, whether I liked it or not. And I didn’t like it. Not one bit.

  I started back toward my apartment, and now the weight of the bags wasn’t as light as it had been when I’d imagined I was cooking Lindsay a romantic meal. Now the bags felt heavy, like I was hauling bricks.

  A couple of blocks from the supermarket, I passed an older homeless guy that I’d seen around town before. “Spare some change?” he asked.

  I slowed my pace and stopped in front of him. He had long, stringy gray hair and very few teeth. His jeans hung down around his too skinny waist. “What do you need the money for?” I asked.

  His blue eyes met mine and he concocted a smile. “I ain’t eaten all day.”

  I smiled back. “Well, partner, you’re in luck then.” I handed the bags to him and he looked at me with confusion.

  “You serious?”

  “Hell, yes. You want the food or not?” I said. “There’s good shit in there.

  Prosciutto, salami, cheese, mushrooms, Godiva chocolates, all kinds of stuff.”

  He started scrounging through the bags, pulled out a box of rigatoni. “I can’t do nothing with this,” he complained.

  But I was already walking away. “Give it away, then. Sell it. Do whatever you want, man. It’s all yours!”

  I didn’t bother to listen to his response. If he was as hungry as he claimed to be, he’d be happy with the amount of usable food I’d given him for free. If not, he could probably sell a few things and make enough to get a bottle of Jack Daniels or whatever he wanted for his fix.

  It felt good to have unburdened myself. Even though I’d spent a lot of money—

  money I couldn’t really afford—I was mentally and physically lighter now that I’d given the food away.

  But the good feeling didn’t really last. As I got closer to my apartment, my thoughts returned to the federal agents that had visited me. I’d called the numbers on both business cards and left messages for each agent, but so far nobody had gotten back to me.

  I still couldn’t believe that I’d somehow gotten pulled into this mess, and I was sick of thinking about Quarry and his stupid, corrupt gym. Leaving my old coach had seemed like a good decision at the time, but looking back, I’d had nothing but trouble ever since then.

  Now I had to wait and see when or if the agents would get back to me, and what I would need to do to get immunity from the charges. Would they make me wear a wire, testify in court, try and make me buy drugs from Quarry? I didn’t have the first clue what this was going to mean, but I knew that it wasn’t going to be any fun.

  Maybe it would do me some good to get away from Boston, I thought, as I got to the door of my apartment building and took out my keys. I must have been lost in thought, not even noticing what was going on around me, because suddenly a voice spoke from just beside my ear.

  “Hey, stranger.”

  I startled and turned to see Brooklyn standing next to the front stoop. She was laughing.

  “Shit,” I said, shaking my head
. “I didn’t even see you there.”

  “Kind of preoccupied, huh?” she asked, tilting her head to the side and raising an eyebrow. She was dressed in a short skirt, high heels and a t-shirt that didn’t leave much to the imagination.

  “I’m good,” I replied, smiling at her, but not being too friendly. I didn’t like that she’d shown up at my apartment out of nowhere. What if Lindsay had been with me?

  “You look good,” she said.

  “Uh, thanks, I guess.” I wanted to open the door to the apartment building but didn’t want Brooklyn trying to follow me inside.

  “You don’t seem very happy to see me, Justin.” She puffed out her bottom lip in a fake pout.

  I turned to look at her. “I wasn’t expecting you, that’s all.”

  “I was in the neighborhood. Was I wrong to stop by and say hello?”

  “No, you weren’t wrong.”

  She frowned. “Then what is it? Why are you being weird?”

  I sighed. “I’m just busy—I’ve got a lot going on right now.”

  “Like what?”

  “I’m going on a trip tonight.”

  “What about training?”

  I looked at her. “Is this an interrogation or something?” I took my key and slid it into the lock, opening the door to the apartment building. “Because I’m really not in the mood to be interrogated.” I almost said interrogated again but wisely left off the last word.

  “Justin—” Brooklyn started towards me.

  But now I was walking inside. I turned and faced her, making sure to block the doorway. “Like I said, I’ve really got to get going.” I started to close the door, not caring anymore that I was basically shutting it in Brooklyn’s face.

  “Wait a second!” she yelled, her voice getting loud and almost panicked.

  I stopped. I didn’t say anything, just looked at her.

  “Please,” she said, and her eyes were suddenly desperate. “Please—I really need to talk to you, Justin.”

  “I thought you were just dropping by,” I told her.

  She looked down, then flipped her hair, looking up at me with an embarrassed half-smile. “Okay, so I lied about that part,” she said. “I didn’t want to come off like a freaking stalker.”

  “Brooklyn,” I sighed. “Are you sure this can’t wait?”

  “It’s important, but also kind of private.” She glanced around.

  “There’s no one out here,” I said. “You can’t just tell me whatever it is you need to tell me?”

  “Can’t we just go inside? Are you that afraid of me?” She laughed, like I was being ridiculous. “Just give me five minutes, okay?”

  Everything in me said that it would be a mistake to let her into my apartment, but now I was already in the building, so it would be a slap in the face to force her to stay outside. She was still Quarry’s daughter and the last thing I needed right now was to have her going back to him and telling him what a mean guy I was.

  “Fine,” I said, regretting it instantly. “Come inside. But I really can’t talk for more than a few minutes.”

  “I heard you the first five times you told me that,” she replied.

  Then why won’t you take the hint? I wondered.

  We walked up to my apartment and went inside. Instantly, she seemed in a better mood. “Where’s your roommate?” she asked.

  I shrugged. “Work.”

  “I kind of thought you and I might be roommates someday, you know,” she said, walking around like she owned the place. She went into the kitchen and I followed her, my annoyance growing by the second.

  “I don’t think us being roommates would be such a good idea.”

  She turned suddenly, her eyes intense. “Why not?”

  “Because, it’s usually not a good idea to live with someone of the opposite sex, especially not someone you…”

  “Slept with? Fucked?”

  I folded my arms. “Yeah. Exactly.”

  “Oh.” She tossed her hair again and then went to my fridge and opened it. “You need to buy some more food, Justin.”

  “Brooklyn, what the hell are you doing?”

  She closed the fridge and gave me a sad face. “Why are you being so mean to me?”

  “Because, I’m losing patience. I told you I don’t have time to screw around.”

  “Oh, right. You’re going away on a trip.”

  “That’s right.”

  “Where to?”

  “That’s none of your business. So what did you want to say?”

  She glared at me. “Are you going with someone?”

  “I’m not getting into this with you.”

  “Why? What are you afraid of?”

  I was going to tell her to get the hell out of my apartment, but then I realized that maybe she had a point. What was I so afraid of? Was I really going to be so intimidated by Quarry that I would lead his daughter on and pretend there might still be a possibility of something happening between us? It was just plain stupid.

  “Listen, I’m going to New York with a girl—with Lindsay.”

  Brooklyn’s eyes widened and then narrowed, all in the space of about two seconds. She smiled, a little sadly. “I figured.”

  “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

  “It’s okay. I understand, Justin.” She looked at me, her eyes a little too shiny.

  “Are you happy? Does she make you happy?”

  I thought about how best to answer, but finally I just nodded. It was the truth, after all. “She does.”

  “Good.” Brooklyn smiled again. She looked down at the floor. “Listen, I don’t want to take up anymore of your time. The thing is, I was thinking of you a lot. I haven’t gotten my period and I was kind of half freaking out about it.”

  My stomach curdled and the taste in my mouth went sour. “What?”

  She shook her head. “I’m sure it’s nothing, Justin. Don’t get crazy on me.”

  “What do you mean? How late are you?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe a week.”

  “Brooklyn, we used protection.”

  “Oh, yeah. I don’t really think it’s anything,” she said, sounding nonchalant.

  “But I was kind of nervous and wanted to talk to you about it.”

  “Why?”

  “Why?” she said, looking at me strangely.

  “Yeah, why would you want to talk to me about it? Why wouldn’t you just take a pregnancy test?”

  “I was scared to,” she said.

  I stared at her. “Let’s go get one right now,” I said. “Come on.”

  She shook her head again. “No, I’m not ready.”

  “You don’t just come over, drop something like that on me and then refuse to take the test.”

  She laughed. “Stop being so ridiculous, Justin. I wanted to see you, that’s why I stopped by. You’re painting me to be something I’m not. I apologize for even saying anything.”

  “Brooklyn—“

  She pushed past me then, pressing her chest against me as she left, her hair whipsawing against my face, and the scent of fresh flowers lingered in my nostrils as she blew by and down the hallway. “Forget it,” she called out, walking more quickly now.

  “You just go and have a good time in New York with your new girlfriend!”

  I noticed my hands were clenched and opened them, trying to calm down.

  “Brooklyn,” I said again. “Don’t leave. We need to deal with this.”

  But she slammed the door and left.

  A moment later, my phone buzzed with a text. I was sure it was Brooklyn, but then I thought—no, maybe it was Lindsay. The thought of telling Lindsay that Brooklyn was pregnant made me sick to my stomach.

  But she’s not pregnant, I reminded myself. You used protection. Brooklyn is crazy—there’s nothing to tell Lindsay.

  When I checked my phone, I was relieved to see that there was a message from Gil.

  You around tonite?

  I thought about it. No, there wa
s too much to do. I had to pack and get ready, and Gil might want to know what was going on. Now that he was sober, he might even have opinions about it. He might think I should do or say something different than what I wanted to do or say, and I didn’t want to deal with that right now.

  I decided to text him later and pretend that I’d just seen his text when it was already too late to hang out. Part of me felt a little bit bad doing that, but another part of me felt like I needed to stop worrying about Gil.

  He’s a big boy and you’ve got your own problems. Hell, switching places with Gil sounds good right about now, and you never thought you’d say that, did you?

  I went to go pack.

  LINDSAY

  “This is so fucked up,” Carter said, juggling a sheaf of papers and his laptop. As he did, his computer almost fell out of his hands and onto the ground. “Where the hell is he?”

  “I’m sure he’ll be here soon,” I said. We’d just gone through airport security and were standing in the waiting area in front of the gate. Our flight was going to be boarding soon, and we had no idea where Dr. Klaxton was or when he was going to show up.

  “You’d think he would have answered his phone,” Carter grumbled.

  “I’m sure he’s on his way.” It was a lie, of course. I wasn’t sure he was on his way. Dr. Klaxton was a total wild card. He could have been anywhere. But I had to say something. Carter was really on edge.

  He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “He better be here soon,” Carter said. “I really do not want to have to explain to a room full of doctors and drug executives that Dr. Klaxton missed his flight.”

  “You won’t,” I said. “Don’t worry.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because I won’t let you. If he’s late, then I’ll announce it to everyone.”

  “You will?”

  “Oh, yeah, I’ll totally get up there and let everyone know what a prick he is for not showing up.”

  Carter laughed. “Yeah, I can just imagine that, you getting up there and announcing it to everyone.”

  I pursed my lips and pretended to be thinking about it. “I could totally do it.

  ‘Sorry, but Dr. Klaxton couldn’t make it here. He was too busy messing around with a student.’”